Blame the porn industry or exaggerated locker-room talk, but most men are not satisfied with the size of their manhood. But the quest for a magnificent member can have some serious shortcomings.

by Jim Larkins

Dan Salaf’s penis isn’t exceedingly impressive. In fact, it might be a little smaller than average. But considering that 13 years ago he woke up with a bruised, stitched-up phallus, a fraction of its original size, it’s a wonder he has a functioning penis at all.

Salaf’s phallic woes actually began when he reached adulthood. Unlike the rest of his body, his penis hadn’t developed beyond puberty. He was so self-conscious about his miniscule member that he avoided joining the Marines for fear that he wouldn’t “measure up” to other guys in the shower. He stayed in unhealthy relationships because he was afraid his sexual shortcoming would be a turn-off to new partners. He became so preoccupied with the measure of his manhood that he gave up his Los Angeles apartment and began sleeping in his car in order to save $12,000 for penis enlargement surgery.

Ironically, it was not until after his phalloplasty procedure that Salaf’s real troubles began. Not only had his savings been drained, but his penis actually shrank from five to four inches. Also, during the first three weeks of his recovery, he awoke several times each night to painful nocturnal erections.

“Most websites and MD’s downplay the negative side-effects and complications of penile surgery,” claims Salaf.

A physician then informed Salaf what he should have been told prior to going under the knife: that some of the downsides of penile surgery include a temporary decrease in size and the possibility of permanent shortening due to excessive scar tissue.

A “Growing” Trend

Salaf’s story is a reflection of the widespread fixations among men on penis size.

“For some reason, men equate size with manhood,” says psychotherapist Dr. Ana Robles. “Even men of adequate size often feel there’s something wrong, that they’re small.”

Dr. Richard Wineland, a urologist with the Anaheim Urologic Medical Group in Anaheim, Calif., says he’s seen an increase during the past several years in the number of men seeking some form of phallic enhancement. “I would say we get four inquiries a week from men interested in surgery and other options,” says Wineland.

Interestingly, it is men who are already of average size, rather than brandishers of below-average penises, that attempt such modifications. Could it be then, that these guys are attempting to fill the phallic shadows of their blue-movie idols? Regardless of the motives, there are a number of effective (and even more ineffective) methods for increasing one’s penile proportions.

Drugs, Pumps and other Phallic Fallacies

Our ever-increasing pharmaceutical-dependant society, in sync with the desperation of men who feel their “packages” don’t measure up, is fueling a huge industry of penis-pill companies. But, like turn-of-the-century snake oil cures, these modern-day medications can’t bring their customers one centimeter closer to a bigger member.

“There are a variety of pills and creams that can give a man short-term—less than one day—enlargement of the penis,” says Dr. Dana Nelson, a pharmacist. “But the duration is four-six hours only, and all medications have the potential for negative side effects, especially with people who have high blood pressure or diabetes.”

But high risks and low results haven’t deterred the public. These temporary solutions account for a good deal of the billion-dollar penile-enlargement industry. The idea of making such an important, private decision based on claims—neither scientifically nor medically validated—by corporations that are trying to sell penis growth pills, is downright scary.

Enzyte, one of the more popular penile supplements, doesn’t actually do anything to permanently magnify one’s manhood. The smiling Bob mascot in the TV commercial for the drug might be the gleeful recipient of a temporarily firmer, fuller penis, but not a perpetually bigger one.

Another misconceived device is the penis pump. These apparatuses were originally used to help men suffering from diabetes or circulatory disorders to achieve otherwise impossible erections. Although they do offer a temporary increase in size, once the pressure is released, the swollen member will rapidly return to its original size.

The fact is, with catchy names like Blue Veiner, Bull Fighter, Fireman’s Pump and Big Bazooka, penis-pumpers provide more comic relief than increased phallic dimensions.

The custom of hanging weights from the penis has been around for at least 2,000 years and is still practiced in some African tribes. During the past couple of decades, many variations on these methods have surfaced in Western cultures. But think twice before affixing anything heavy to your love hammer. With the possibility of gaining a fraction of penile length comes the chance of losing a degree of thickness. And if that doesn’t deter you from trying to gain from gravity, consider that, depending upon the device used, a restriction of blood circulation could occur, which in turn can cause necrosis (death) of the tissue.

Surgical Solutions: A Cut Above the Rest

Doubtless, the solution to penis-size concerns that has the highest risk factor—and the highest price tag—is surgery.

“Surgery does work, but should not be a man’s first choice on his way to a larger penis. It’s too traumatic,” claims Nelson.

Mini-abdominoplasty is the most common form of penile surgery. This procedure actually doesn’t change the size or structure of the penis at all. It makes it appear longer by severing the abdominal ligaments that anchor it to the body and revealing the section of the penis that is usually concealed inside the abdomen. One of the more disturbing outcomes of this option is that the dissected ligament can cause the penis to slip and shift during intercourse, leading to a “jarring” sensation. The procedure also requires that the patient hang weights from his penis daily for a few months after surgery.

Another post-surgical hurdle is the possible inability of the severed ligament to perform its primary function of hoisting up the excited member. The droopy dick could then lead to an unappealing effect called “scrotal dog ears.” This post-surgical feature occurs when the penis sinks into the folds of the nut sack pillow, causing the testicles to form what might seem like two globular canine ears. The penis takes on the appearance of the long snout of man’s other best friend.

If it’s penile girth you seek, another practice uses skin from other parts of the body or tissue from cadavers. If you can get past the fact that you’re wearing some dead guy’s phallic skin tissue, there’s also the risk of infection or the unnerving prospect of ugly results from complications.

For instance, because body fat doesn’t reabsorb into the body evenly, the surgically enhanced stud could soon be wielding an unnatural, knot-lined and contorted cock.

The charge of discovering safer, more effective surgical techniques for phallic enlargement is one of never-ending trial and error. But specialists in the phalloplasty field may have found a solution to problems with trying to increase girth.

The procedure involves taking strips of skin from the patient’s buttocks and other areas and slipping them under the skin of the penis. The risk of lumpiness is decreased because, unlike fat, dermis reabsorbs into the body evenly. One can still end up with nasty scars however, and when all is said and done, you’re still robbing Paul to pay Peter.

The Future of Phallic Enhancement

Modesty prevents many men from exposing their damaged dicks (and the surgeons who are responsible for the blunders), but some have taken their cases to court and won. However, patients are not the only ones making hindsight decisions based on the negative outcomes of penile surgical procedures.

At one time, Gary Alter was one of the top phalloplasty surgeons in the country. Not willing to deal with the complications of his handiwork any longer, he has abandoned the procedure and spends a great deal of his time reversing the damage done by past operations.

Alter’s compassion isn’t shared by all of his peers, though. Consumer satisfaction isn’t the chief concern of penile supplement pushers. Therefore, before you grab a tape measure and start popping pills, begin a regimen of stretching, pulling and prodding or take the riskiest of routes and go under knife, let patience and common sense be your guide in making that choice.