by Robert Ellsworth

Step right up, step right up!

IN Los Angeles’ very own beauty correspondent, Robert Ellsworth, will demystify some of our biggest beauty misconceptions.

IF YOU PLUCK ONE GRAY HAIR, TEN WILL GROW BACK.

Just pluck it—this is one of those old wives’ tales that have been passed down for generations, and while many don’t have much foundation, there are some that do. “Beauty myths often have an iota of truth in them,” says Christina Cannerella, a nurse/beautician in Sherman Oaks. “If you spot a gray hair and you pull one out, it’s likely that neighboring [gray] hairs are also about to start growing, therefore those pesky gray hairs near each other may appear at the same time.”

LONG LASHES ARE SOMETHING YOU’RE BORN WITH.

Until recently, if you didn’t have the lush lashes of Ryan Phillippe, you were out of luck. Luckily for the eyelash challenged, Allergan, the company behind Botox, is ready to release a new drug that will enhance eyelash growth. If you can’t wait until its release, there are a few milder versions already in stores that will add thickness to your lashes, without making you like Liza Minnelli. Best products: Lancerx Lash, MD Lash Factor and Marini Lash.

SLATHERING VASELINE ON YOUR MUG PREVENTS WRINKLES.

Marilyn Monroe allegedly slathered the thick glop on religiously to stay youthful-looking, but that doesn’t mean you should. Petrolatum may seem to make wrinkles less apparent because it adds moisture to the skin, which softens lines, but it can’t actually prevent aging. Only a cream with a proven active ingredient, such as retinol or Vitamin C-Esta, can stave off wrinkles. Plus, petrolatum is so greasy that it can create other problems, including cystic breakouts.

CUCUMBERS ON YOUR EYES REMOVES BAGS.

After a night of partying, you may cringe when you see those puffy lids in the mirror. Before you reach for those cukes, you might want to know the components of the cucumber don’t penetrate the skin. “Bags under the eyes are caused by fluid retention. The only real antidote with lasting impact is Botox,” says Rand Rusher, co-owner of Leaf & Rusher Medical Skincare. If you don’t want such an extreme treatment, raw potatoes work better than cukes. “The starch pulls out the swelling,” Rusher says. “Warm tea bags can also alleviate redness.”

ORAL HCG SPRAYS OFFER THE SAME ANTI-AGING EFFECTS AS INJECTABLE HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE.

Don’t be fooled by the false promises of anyone who is promoting worthless products

like “oral growth hormone” or “secretogogues,” reveals Dr. Gary London. There is absolutely no credible evidence that any of those oral products have any significant effect, except a negative one on your wallet. Study after study has shown that these products do not increase your body’s production of growth hormone or provide any other benefit. So save your hard earned cash and opt for a doctor’s advise instead.

MEN ARE NOT AFFECTED BY EATING DISORDERS.

The University of California asserts that 10 percent of all anorexia cases are now male, and that 25 percent of American men are on a diet on any given day, while up to 1 million may experience an eating disorder at some time in their lives. The UC study further asserts that “homosexual men appear to have a greater risk of anorexia than heterosexual men ... possibly because the emphasis placed upon physical appearance in the homosexual community leads gay men to pursue the thin body ideal.”..

MEN MUST REGULARLY EXAMINE THEIR TESTICLES.

Testicular cancer is rarer than you might think: The average M.D. sees two or three new cases in his entire career. When it does occur, it usually produces a symptom to draw your attention to it. So the chances of finding an unsuspected cancer via a routine feel-around are about the same as starring in your own reality show. Certainly give your potatoes a check if you’ve noticed a symptom. And don’t delay seeking help if you discover a lump. But don’t become a ball-watching neurotic.

VIAGRA IS THE BEST SOLUTION FOR A JILTED JOHNSON/SEXUAL DOLDRUMS.

In truth, the magic blue pills may not be necessary at all. The rush to pop pills obscures a few basics, like a sudden failure to rise to the occasion, especially in younger men, which is usually just a temporary blip caused by stress, exhaustion (or even a secret meth addiction). What goes on in your pants usually reflects what’s going on in your head. It isn’t a slight on masculinity and it will probably right itself.

DRINKING TWO GALLONS OF WATER A DAY KEEPS SKIN SUPPLE.

What keeps skin moist is oil, not water. Drinking water helps vital organs operate properly, and too little water can give you a wan appearance. But your skin can still look bad even if you drink eight glasses a day. The best way to hydrate it is by moisturizing regularly.