As Long Beach Pride celebrates its 25th anniversary—and kicks off SoCal’s Pride season —here are 25 reasons to throw on your Pride gear and head down to the LBC.

by Ryan Baber

1. KC and the
Sunshine Band
As if you really needed someone to tell you to shake shake shake shake shake shake shake your booty.

2. The Bangles
Hopefully they won’t play too much of their “new stuff.”

3. Silver Anniversary
It’s elegant, it goes with everything and it keeps its resale value—which is more than you can say for the men you’ll pick up at the Sheena Easton concert.

4. Pride Star ’08 Karaoke Contest
They may say it’s an amateur contest. Please, these ringers have been singing waiters for years.

5. The Locals
You ain’t ever seen local color til you’ve seen a longshoremen dancing to Rhianna!

6. Fairy Boats
Finally, a chance to test out all those Queen Mary jokes you’ve been sitting on for the past year!

7. Mesh Shorts
Yes, they exist, but like a rare jungle orchid that only blooms at night, these delicate garments can only be seen in the wild this weekend…and two weeks later in WeHo … and two weeks later in San Francisco … and pretty much year round in Brazil. Who says man hasn’t improved on nature?!?

8. Size
Although Long Beach is only the 35th largest city in America, its Pride festival is the third largest behind New York City and San Francisco. When reached for comment, L.A. had this to say: “Whatevs!”

9. Country Stage
Like Madonna or American Idol, we all go through a country phase at some point. Who are you to resist?

10. Sheena Easton
Remember when mousse was more than just a dessert? No? Oh well. Neither does Sheena. But she can still sing!

11. Popcorn!
On Wednesday, hit up the Gay and Lesbian Short Film showcase. It’s like speed dating; If you don’t like the one you’re looking at, another one will be along in two minutes!

12. Only Game in Town
Sure beats the hell out of Artesia Pride!

13. Deborah Cox
When Crystal Waters, Evelyn “Champagne” King or those dancing bears from Moscow aren’t available, Deborah Cox is the best show in town!

14. Interfaith Stage
With performers from many different religions, this stage has your spiritual needs covered. You just worry about covering what the mesh shorts don’t.

15. Urban Soul Tent
As Snoop Dogg may have said, “With so much drama in the LBC, it’s kinda fun being proud with the LGBT!” And with drink tickets, you can roll down the street sipping on gin and juice. Laid back!

16. The Altoids Float
Home of the original, curiously naked go-go dancers. And for once, they tip you! With Altoids! Now that’s refreshing!

17. Free Condoms
It may seem like a long drive for free condoms, but with the economy the way it is, we have to take what we can get. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use protection!

18. Daytime Drinking
It’s not often we have license to imbibe in the middle of the day, so take the opportunity and have a drink! For once, your booze money will go to a good cause—besides, of course, getting you drunk!

19. Charity
Long Beach Lesbian and Gay Pride actually donates to charity on behalf of their volunteers. Thus, volunteers are pulling double duty for every hour they work, benefiting two organizations at once. Talk about efficiency!

20. Dance Tent
Summer’s coming and that means shirtless men dancing up a storm in a covered tent. That’s right—If you won’t cover yourselves, Pride will do it for you!

21. The Parade
With more than 75,000 paraders, you can only imagine how large the crowd will be! Not to mention all the free pamphlets and brochures!!!

22. Flags
Classic rainbow, ethnic pride and ever-increasing fetish communities all display their spirit with flags and other items dangling in the breeze!

23. Dykes On Bikes
For once the roar is not coming from the crowd. Don’t miss these motorcycle mamas as they kick off the parade on Sunday!

24. Men in Uniform
For your safety (or your viewing pleasure) police officers and firefighters are always on the scene, ready for action. Oh come on! You knew what I meant!

25. It’s Gay Pride!
It’s their 25th Anniversary! If you missed it, they’d never let you live it down!

The 25th annual Long Beach Pride takes place May 17-18. The festival takes place 11 a.m.-10 p.m. along Shoreline Drive both days. The Parade begins at Ocean and Temple at 10:30 a.m. on May 18. For more information or to buy your tickets, go to www.longbeachpride.com.

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