by Paul V.

You gotta love the outspoken Madonna. Regarding the omnipresent news coverage about teen-tart Miley Cyrus’ racy Vanity Fair pix, Madge had these motherly words of wisdom: “Leave her alone. She’s gonna be 16 soon and then 17 and then 18, and then she might show her knees and then what’s gonna happen?” This from the lady who drank champagne straight from the bottle at her recent Roseland concert.

When you envision hunky male rockers not wearing any underwear, who comes to mind? Trent Reznor? Justin Timberlake? Keith Richards? Wait—that last one isn’t a typo, ‘cuz the craggy rocker just revealed he never wears underwear (and actually likes to wear a lot of his wife’s clothing). He also says he never washes his clothes—he just tosses them out when they start to stink. Sexy, eh?

In bad movie casting news, the late, legendary (and reportedly lesbian) singer Dusty Springfield will be portrayed by ... Nicole Kidman? We kid you not. Sorry, but Kidman just doesn’t have that Springfield glamour or mystique, even if they do pour the liquid eyeliner on her overly-Botoxed face.

Speaking of Madonna, electro upstarts the Crystal Castles are in hot water for using an old drawing of her with a bloodied, black eye. The band used it as the cover of their debut single and on T-shirts. Once they figured out who did the un-credited image (which they found on a flier), they promised compensation, but artist Trevor Brown still hasn’t gotten a penny in two years. So not cool ...

OK, this is weird. Clay Aiken wears more makeup than most women. He has an actual female working as his understudy for his role in Spamalot (yet, she looks like a tranny), and when seen side by side, they both look like Sharon Stone. Even more confusing was Aiken’s new single, “The Real Me,” which he debuted on the QVC channel. And those syrupy lyrics scream like a confession from the closet!