Score One for the Marshmallow Man

By Peter M. DelVecchio

To me, the federal government is a lot like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters—big and bumbling, dumb and dangerous, despite the pasted-on smile. So, color me cynical, but I greeted White House National Drug Control Policy Director John Walters’ Sept. 4 announcement of a new federal anti-meth information and ad campaign targeting users 18-34 with some skepticism. I figured it would be a joke, especially when it came to gay tweakers. After all, we’ve got a president who, as governor, supported Texas’ homosexual-specific sodomy law (since struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court), from a party with legislators like Mark Foley and Larry Craig who, knees a-jerkin’, vote against anything with the slightest whiff of queer to it, and then ooze back to their offices to send “get-a-ruler-and-measure-it-for-me” instant messages to underage male pages, or slink down to the airport to proposition policemen in the potty.

And as far as the campaign’s ads go, I was right. None of the broadcast spots or print materials posted at the program’s website, www.methresources.gov, targets the gay community, even though, as the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center recently reported, gay men use meth at a rate 20 times that of the general population. But, beyond that, and from a strictly informational standpoint, the new program ain’t bad at all. Its website includes links to relevant agencies in the eight states, including California, where the campaign is currently running, a comprehensive “overview of meth,” and meth information links for all 50 states. There’s quite a bit of data about gay men and Tina. There’s also a number for the National Treatment Referral Service and a link to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s Treatment Facility Locator, which covers the whole country and includes many programs and facilities for gay addicts, such as the Van Ness Recovery House in Hollywood.

To test the program’s customer service and gay-friendliness, I called the “contact us” number on the website and got a recording offering two options: (1) general information; and (2) treatment referral. I tried them both, and each time, had a live person on the line within seconds. In the most “oh, Jethuth” voice I could muster, I requested information and referrals for a gay tweaker “friend.” Unfazed, both operators quickly and politely gave me exactly what I would have needed had the call been real.

Don’t get me wrong—governmental response to the gay meth epidemic at all levels has been more pathetic than Britney at the MTV Video Music Awards. The feds spend less annually on recovery for all drugs combined than they piss away in Iraq every Monday through Thursday. The meth report submitted to the L.A. County Board of Supervisors in April might as well have been origami tree people—at least then it would look pretty as it gathered dust. Nonetheless, this program is a useful new weapon in the fight against meth.