By Marshall O’Boy

Are you a party boy? Why, me too! In fact, I'm a vodka drinkin', joint smokin', cum guzzlin', never gettin’ off the dance floor, can't keep his shirt on party boy! Nice to meet you.

The word “party” brings with it certain assumptions so I should tell you something at this juncture: I don't use crystal meth (Tina, glass, ice). Forgetting for a moment that meth will rot your teeth (“meth- mouth” — one huge open sore for HIV) and make even the most beautiful twink into an old hag within months, meth is simply a really lousy party drug. For all the hype, the party ends quickly, and often destructively.

In spite of the meth epidemic growing exponentially (and HIV and STDs with it), with someone offering you a bump every time you turn around, more of us are going out and having a blast without it. We're out on the Party Wagon, comparing notes, and figuring out new ways to have fun without crystal in a community reeling from it.

Like any good party, the more the merrier. Let's turn this into a two-way discussion. What places do you go to have a good time? I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I'll go first.

Two of my favorite hangouts in the WeHo/Hollywood area have been Fubar (Chi Chi LaRue spins Wednesdays for “Dirty Deeds” and Thursdays there's “Big Fat Dick,” which is more than a name, it's a fact). And on Fridays, it's Miss Kitty's Parlour at Dragonfly. I assume there's some “tweaking” going on at all these venues; it just seems to be kept to a minimum.

Both venues feature hot go-go boys and girls and an energetic clientele with low attitude. Add live shows, and it's a fix for the dopamine starved. I've pulled more weenie out of these places than any gay boy has a right to in his lifetime.

Also, in the last couple of years, I've promoted events around town with my band (The Well Hungarians) in “Meth-Free Zones” (with party's like “Tina's a Drag” and “Kink 'n' Drink”). Live music and performances, porn stars, drag queens and other adrenaline-pumping activities have been part of the equation—heavy accent on the “pumping.” We're planning more.

So, my dear club kid, action seeking, fun-loving new buddies—I know that the word “party” has been usurped by the PnP (party and play) crowd. Guess what? Were taking the word back! We're going to party “old school.”

OK, I've shown you some of my favorite venues. Now it's your turn. Tell me where you go to have a good ol' meth-free time. In the spirit of “harm reduction,” let's talk about our meth sobriety over a beer. Contact me, and let's get this meth-free party wagon started.