They say that laughter is the best medicine. If that’s true then Coco Peru, Varla Jean Merman and myself are practically neurosurgeons! We have tickled more funny bones than Jenna Jameson has tickled those other kind of bones. In fact, it has been said that if you took all the funny bones we have collectively tickled and laid them end to end, they would stretch all the way to Palm Springs and back. Okay, so I made that part up, but you get my point. I spoke to Coco and Varla about Jo Anne Worley, Bea Arthur, our upcoming Logo comedy special and the very serious business of being funny.

JACKIE BEAT: Why is it important for drag queens to be funny?

VARLA JEAN MERMAN: There is nothing more annoying than drag queens who take themselves too seriously! Well, except 60-year-old men in Abercrombie & Fitch clothing. Ugh! And Jay Leno.

COCO PERU: Drag queens were put on this earth to remind the human race of just how ridiculous life is. We are here to shake things up. If people get too comfortable, life becomes boring and I believe we need to make people uncomfortable. And what better way to do that than to throw on a dress, slap on the makeup and say the things others won’t say in public?!

JB: What made you funny? Were you born that way or did something make you funny?

VJM: Shame. After a couple of decades of internalizing it, I was exhausted. It made more sense to turn my feelings of unworthiness and embarrassment into comedy. And an occupation. Creating another person allowed me to laugh at myself with everyone else. As a kid, I constantly listened to the 1966 cast recording of the Off-Broadway musical revue, The Mad Show, starring Jo Anne Worley. My mother gave it to me, so I guess I can say she made me funny. And gay. Really, really gay.

CP: Catholic school and being effeminate in the Bronx has a way of making you funny. Being funny was a way to survive all that. I also was born late in my parents’ life so I grew up around a lot of adults who were fond of booze and cigarettes. So, while other kids enjoyed their peers, I enjoyed alcoholics who taught me how to curse.

JB: Who or what really makes you laugh?

VJM: People falling down. Really hard. Babies, old people, anyone. And, of course, Jo Anne Worley. God, if only I could see Jo Anne Worley fall down!

CP: From a very early age when I discovered a comedy album my parents had called The Jewish American Princess—which sadly would probably never get made today in our PC world—I have been in love with Bea Arthur, who played the mother. Just from her voice I knew that this woman was funny! Ever since then, I was obsessed with Bea and I was very fortunate to have become friends with her the last twelve years or so of her life. When we first met, I was trying to remember the name of a cabaret club in NYC and, as I was describing it I said, “The name of it started with a C” and Bea, without missing a beat said, “Cunt?” Of course that wasn’t the name of it, but I looked into her eyes and I said with my soul, “Yes!” As people watch our Logo special they might wonder why my voice is barely there. Well, the reason my voice is three octaves lower than usual is because I had just returned from NYC where I had performed at Bea’s memorial and I got horribly sick, which I’m sure was Bea’s little way of saying, “I told you I didn’t want a fucking memorial.” And, amazingly, you, Jackie, did a little bit about Bea for this Logo Special [which is rumored to be on the DVD version only], so I think the point is this: It has always been, and will always be, all about Bea—a courageous woman who recognized how ridiculous life can be and who wasn’t afraid to say the word “cunt.” The perfect role model for any young, aspiring drag queen!

ONE NIGHT STAND: DRAGTASTIC! starring Jackie Beat, Varla Jean Merman and Coco Peru premiers on Logo—Monday, Jan. 25 at 10 p.m. and will rerun ad nauseum. Check your local listings.

illustration by glenhanson.com