by Ivy Bottini

Does West Hollywood have an AIDS memorial? If so, where?
—Name withheld

Yes, two.

One, sponsored by the City of West Hollywood and Aid for AIDS, consists of plaques on Santa Monica Boulevard. Each plaque has one to five names and must be purchased by private individuals or groups. A large number who died of AIDS will never have a plaque here. Information can be found at memorialwalk@aidforaids.net.

The second, the AIDS Memorial Garden, at 8341 DeLongpre Ave., William S. Hart Park, consists of a circle of cement with grassy space in the center. There are no names listed, just a slogan on the top of a cement bench. When I went to see it, it was fenced off with no access.

On Memorial Day each year since 1993, Richard Settle, West Hollywood’s official photographer, acting as a private citizen, holds a vigil which people attend in thoughtful, loving remembrance—but not enough know about it.

I long for a beautiful memorial that lists every name of those from West Hollywood who have died of AIDS. In the beginning, during the time when the outer world used hateful and demonizing names to refer to our sick and dying, some were lost to what was then called GRID—Gay Related Immune Deficiency. And some died all alone because their families of birth had deserted them; some were hiding what they believed was the shame of their lives. And others died while in the loving care of partners and friends, or of organizations which our community had to create to get through the pandemic.

The thousands of deaths left behind an environment of confusion, anger and long-term and unresolved community grief. I believe those of us who lived through those horrific years, however we coped, are still suffering collective post-traumatic stress syndrome. Those tragic deaths impacted our psyches in ways we may never know. One did not have to live through those hate-filled horror years to be affected by them.

I believe it has contributed to self-destructive behavior such as drug addiction and alcoholism, rampant in our community.

That is why—and I’ve been mulling this over for a couple of years—I am now appealing to the City of West Hollywood and our LGBTQI community to construct that beautiful memorial—an edifice, a monument—dedicated to and listing each and every person that West Hollywood lost and will lose to AIDS.

For example, the AIDS Memorial Garden could be incorporated into a glorious architectural design. There must be a place where we can go—to see and touch the name of a friend, a lover, a family member—just spend time with them. The memorial must record the names so they are never forgotten. Being able to go to one place where all names are visible will reflect to young and old alike the staggering impact of this huge loss in a way that multiple, individual, spread-out sites simply cannot accomplish.

Questions? askyivy@frontierspublishing.com