Performance artist Derek Ringold gets personal with his multimedia show So Hard.

by Lesley Goldberg

Derek Ringold has always had a passion for performing. Enrolled in dance classes at the age of 12 and performing in more than 10 productions a year through high school, Ringold is now combining his love of performance with his — and others in the gay community — struggle for equality in So Hard, a multimedia performance set for July at Highways Performance Space in Santa Monica.

A “collage of monologues, dance and video images that illuminate why it's 'so hard' to be black and gay in these changing and challenging times,” Ringold says the theater piece is his “personal story as a black gay man living in the time of Proposition 8 and Barack Obama.”

“The conception of this project began over two years ago when the gay marriage issue was becoming a topic of conversation again in California,” said the multihyphenate, who also recently began performing as an Obama impersonator. “During this time, I was struggling with the idea of being an openly gay artist until I was chosen to perform at a showcase called Rise Up and Shout! featuring gay and lesbian artists at the Barnsdall Gallery Theatre in Hollywood.

“I had written a powerful piece on how alone I was as a gay man and had choreographed a dance to accompany the words. After such a rewarding experience that evening, I knew I had to be open and honest about my sexuality in my art,” Ringold said. “I felt that it was my purpose.”

Ringold, who was “truly inspired to explore the marriage of performance and multimedia” after seeing Madonna during her “Confessions” tour in 2006, added that “the idea of words, dance and video imagery as a stage show really resonated with me as a creative way to give voice to issues I was struggling with: shame, acceptance, loneliness, equality.

“I was sure that my adversities could also be felt by the gay community at large as well as touch those who desire a greater understanding of what it truly means to be born gay,” he continued. “I knew that I had the opportunity to really create something important.”

Once he decided to add video imagery to the story, Ringold connected with friend and editor Mike Stathopoulos and began compiling images, later adding director and “mentor” Michael Kearns who helped shape what is now So Hard.

“Michael really pushed me to get personal and go deeper than I had ever imagined,” Ringold said. “I often resisted going to those dark, uncomfortable places, but Michael created a save environment for me to do so.”

Elements of the multimedia show touch on Ringold's frustration in navigating West Hollywood and the how the fallout from the passage of Prop. 8 united the LGBT community.

“As a black gay man, it was especially infuriating when a large percentage of blacks and Hispanics voted yes on the same-sex marriage ban,” he said. “West Hollywood, in a positive sense, made me feel like part of something when I felt betrayed by my own race. That was heartwarming.”

At the same time, Ringold said he looks at “all these boys, standing in line for the bathroom waiting to snort cocaine, drunk every night and unemployed, desperate for a hook up, desperate for validation, having unprotected sex, go-go dancing on GHB or escorting and I think, 'Is this my community?'

“That being said, this is my community,” he added. “The messed up ones and the stable ones are all part of 'the scene' and I accept that. It just saddens me that I feel like only a small percentage are examples of what gay men should strive to be. It's a minefield because no matter who you are, young or old, successful or not, there is always the temptation to say 'f--k it' and leap into the dark reality of cruising, sex and drugs. I have many times.”

Ringold, who also has appeared on General Hospital, Cold Case and Oz, recently won the City of West Hollywood's 2009 Arts Grant and even incorporates his response to winning the prestigious prize into So Hard.

“Winning an Arts Grant for a project that was conceived and put into action by me is as rewarding as it gets,” he said. “Booking jobs in television and film is also thrilling, but I knew I had something to say with So Hard, which makes receiving the grant much more important in my book.”

Following his run at Highways, Ringold is optimistic about sharing So Hard with audiences in Orange County or Crenshaw—“communities who would benefit from seeing my pain and outrage” over the gay rights debate. “It's very important for me to reach people whose hearts and minds could possibly be opened to acceptance and understanding of the gay civil rights movement. All are equal. That's it. Period.”

the details

So Hard
Friday and Saturday, July 10-11
Highways Performance Space,
1651 18th St., Santa Monica
highwaysperformance.org