Pick a Pierced Pickle

by Jim Larkins

Want to dress up your manhood while improving on its functionality? Although many of us wouldn’t let anything sharper than a zipper near our penises, some men have discovered the visual and sensual thrill of penile piercing.

One such adornment involves running a bar through the frenulum (the section that connects the penis head to the shaft) perpendicular to the penis. The result is a little like globular Frankenstein posts on either side of your dick. Healing after a frenulum piercing usually takes from two to five weeks.

One of the most common mergers of phallus and steel is the Prince Albert (PA). This piercing starts at the outer area of the frenulum and continues into the urethra. The reverse PA enters through the urethra and exits through a piercing in the top of the glans. Although the PA heals somewhat quickly, there can be blood in the urine during the first day and bleeding from the punctures can occur sporadically during the first 2-3 days.

The prince’s wand is yet another form of jewelry for your johnson. This hollow tube is inserted into the urethra, and has a stem that runs through the PA piercing and connects to a threaded hole on the side of the tube. Because of the shape, the wand has been compared to a policeman’s truncheon. What makes this piercing piece so unique is that it has a cap, usually in the shape of a ball, which can be removed so the wearer can urinate through the hollow tube without having to remove the apparatus entirely.

Regardless of which device you use to dress up dick, there are a number of precautions that should be noted. First, if this isn’t already abundantly obvious, go with a clean, reputable professional that has numerous below-the-belt piercings to his credit.

The real work, however, comes after you hobble forth from the piercing parlor. You must now begin taking steps to safeguard your perforated pecker. Keep in mind that, since condoms aren’t really designed to accommodate hammerhead-shaped phalluses, you should opt for those that have a larger receptacle end.

Also remember that, although your piercing can add sexual zest, it also has the potential for injury to both you and your partner. In the heat of the moment, especially when entering or exiting the anus, extra caution should be taken to insure that the piercing doesn’t catch.

So as long as you practice standard post-surgical hygiene, and you’re aware of the limitations that come with affixing various attachments to your penis, you’ll enjoy endless bouts of pleasure with your handsome, newly adorned, bionic boner.