BY TONY ZIMBARDI—LE MONS

Here come the grooms...

“You are the calmest person I’ve ever met who’s about to be married,” Dave, our wedding photographer, comments as I pin a boutonniere to my best man’s lapel. “My friends took me out last night for a little bachelor party,” I reply. “I’m a lightweight; two drinks and I’m just a wee bit hung over, enough to be moving slower than usual, but not enough to have a headache. I’m in the perfect Zen state for my wedding. I highly recommend it!” He laughs.

“I see trees of green, red roses too…” Ten minutes later, our soloist Molly is singing our processional song, the old Louie Armstrong hit “It’s a Wonderful World.” The boys begin their march down the isle, with Antonio and I following about 10 feet behind. The Rev. Marc begins the ceremony with the unity candle ritual, with our parents, the boys, and Antonio and I lighting the symbolic flame.

“Tony, would you please place the ring on Antonio’s finger and repeat after me,” the Rev. Marc requests. As I begin to slide the ring down his finger I realize I gave my best man the wrong ring. I have the ring I usually wear, instead of the one Antonio usually wears. “I’ve got the wrong ring,” I announce to the crowd. “Rewind,” the Rev. Marc shouts out and everyone breaks into laughter. In the background, Molly softly begins to sing the standard ballad, “I’ll Close My Eyes.” The moment is perfect.

“Antonio,” the Rev. Marc begins, “I believe you have some personal vows you’d like to share with Tony.” “Tony,” Antonio starts, “my vow to you is simple: that my love will be unconditional, inspirational and enduring!” He chokes up with emotion. “And Tony,” the Rev. Marc continues. I pull out a typed page filled with text. “Don’t worry,” the Rev. Marc announces to the crowd, ”it’s double-spaced!”

“Antonio,” I begin, “When I began looking for a life-partner, I told myself I wanted someone who would really challenge me. Antonio, you exceeded my

expectations! And I said I would find a man who would not be afraid to confront me on my B.S. Antonio, you exceeded my expectations!” He chuckles.

“My promise to you is to wake up every morning for the rest of my life,

willing to meet, and if possible, even exceed your expectations of me. You’ve set a high bar, but I’ll do my best to rise to the occasion!”

“In accordance with the North Hollywood Church of Religious Science and the State of California, I now pronounce you legally married,” the Rev. Marc proclaims. We kiss and the audience applauds. “And in the African tradition of beginning a new home,” the Rev. Marc continues, “misters Tony and Antonio Zimbardi-Le Mons, please join hands with Jaime and Edward and ‘jump the broom.’” The four of us join hands, jumping over a broom in unison. Cheers go up and for the next 45 minutes, we continue to receive over 150 misty-eyed, smiling guests.

In the next installment: A major loss for the family.

Tony Zimbardi, Psy.D., is a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood. More of his writing can be found at drtonyzimbardi.com.