What to do when your better half is in need of a make-over ... stat!

BY MICHAEL ANTHONY

You only have yourself to blame; after all, you knowingly married into it: the pleats in his high-waisted, tapered khakis, the shoulder pads in his gold-buttoned navy power blazer, those perpetually inflated faux leopard skin parachute pants, the fanny pack, the Kennedy glasses. Granted, in the late ’80s, they may have been acceptable, perhaps even a bit stylishly chic. But it’s 20 years later, and his BluBlockers are just itching for a good old heave-ho into the recycling bin.

He’s your man; you love him. But no one ever said anything about loving his ugly ass wardrobe. As the more in Vogue of the two of you, it’s not only your right but also your romantic duty to morph your not-so-fashionable half’s attire from decades-old drab into updated fab. But how does one modernize the contents of their loved one’s closet without hurting their beloved mal-dresser’s feelings? It ain’t easy.

So bite your well-attired tongue, take the sale rack less traveled, and kill your man’s threads with kindness…

Downsize

Make a game out of it: Take to your California King bed, hunker down with a good bottle of wine, and throw open those armoire doors. If your man is, as many anti-fashionistas are, a clothing packrat, it’s time to purge, baby, purge! No article is safe from the clothing cleanse.

Each and every piece, from flip flops to dress shirts and cargo shorts, is to be tried on. Anything that is not ...

1. In style right now (And no, “will be back in style in 15 years” does not count.)

2. A perfect fit at this very moment (And not “when I lose those last 10 pounds.”)

3. Hasn’t been worn in over a year (If 365 days haven’t done it justice, he won’t either.)

... is to be bagged and donated to a worthwhile cause (e.g. Out of the Closet).

Following the rules above (without exception) and eradicating his wardrobe malfunctions with a quick, clean, and decisive eye is the best way to help your mate make a clean break from his former faux pas.

Flatter

“Change can be a sensitive topic,” notes celebrity fashion stylist Lauren Francis (Kate Bosworth, Mena Suvari). “Make your [partner] comfortable with [his makeover]. Highlight your mate’s best attributes, and tell them that their gorgeous eyes stand out best when he/she wears complementary colors.” You’ll get many more fashionable flies with designer honey, so avoid the insulting barbs and get your mate excited about new trends through compliments.

Imitate

“Also tap into your mate's interests when trying to refine their ‘new look,’” Francis encourages. “For example, if they idolize a certain celebrity's fashion sense, find a way to present them with wardrobe options that fit their icon's same style.” Many celebs, like David Bowie and P. Diddy, now boast their own clothing lines; your mate will be more apt to try something new if he sees it on someone he respects. After all, imitation is the highest form of flattery!

Guide

Take your mate by the hand if necessary, to stores that he wouldn’t normally feel comfortable in. “If it’s not an outfit from a magazine or something already on a mannequin at a department store, I’d never trust myself to put it together,” reveals my boyfriend (and sexiest misdressed man this side of the Mississippi). “You [aka me] did a really good job of making me feel comfortable on Melrose and in outlet malls and other places I’d never go. And that’s where I found most of my [new] wardrobe.”

Rethink

“Every couple of years, be sure to rethink your hairstyle,” encourages professional hair and makeup artist, Mishel Brownlee (Wentworth Miller, Annie Lennox). “Make sure you aren't stuck in a rut, like [having] the same style since high school! Together, browse magazines and check out cuts of male models that are in your mate’s age range. Rip out the pictures, and bring them in to a stylist [aka not Supercuts] to get their opinion on what would work on you.” Be sure to reaffirm that his new locks look bounce-back sexy.

Cleanse

Looking good encompasses more than just one’s wardrobe. Brownlee goes on: “It is important that [your mate’s] beauty regimen include products other than bar soap from his shower!” For those in the know, she explains, walk your partner through foaming facial cleansers, moisturizers, sunscreens, and exfoliants. And if you’re both in the dark when it comes to better skin dos and don’ts, swing by your local department store’s beauty counter and take in a free lesson; you may both learn a beautiful thing or two.

Show Off

Once your mate is revamped, from newfangled haircut to trendy toe, treat him to a night on the town; stepping out into the world alone after an overhaul can be intimidating. But nothing feels better than turning heads (which he surely will), so help him show off his fresh threads, and get his newly chic butt out and about for all to see.

To contact stylist Lauren Francis, send e-mail to: lauren@retailtherapie.com. For hair and makeup artist Mishel Brownlee, visit www.makeupbymishel.com

BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

Name: Husam

Age: 30

Occupation: Executive assistant by day, fashion designer by night!

E-mail: Planetnicotine@hotmail.com

Ideal first date: My perfect date would begin with a drink or cup of tea. Next, we’d go to a quiet place and talk over dinner, and end the evening by going for a walk to work off the great dinner we just ate. Finally, if sparks fly we’d end the night with that perfect kiss!

Little-known fact: Few people know that I love to write short stories. I sometimes take those stories and use them as inspirations for my designs. I interpret my stories and develop my design concepts to visually display my fantasy ideas.

Are you, or is anyone you know, Boyfriend Material? Fill out the above survey and send a high-resolution image to Lenora.Claire@frontierspublishing.com.