Learning Life Lessons Through Acceptance of Both Positive and Negative

BY JASON MANNINO

It is important to develop a learning relationship with life. This means you accept that all the circumstances of your life—both good and bad—come to you to teach important lessons. Choosing this perspective supports you in acknowledging that the only place for you to be is right where you are in the time that you are there. Therefore, you are focused on each consecutive moment and not the past or the future. This focus moves you beyond your ego and you stop resisting life and start experiencing greater peace. It also supports you in fully accepting what shows up in your life with gratitude, because you now know there is a lesson for you in challenges that come your way. As much as the universe brings challenges, it also provides support. With a learning orientation to life it becomes clear that you have both a purpose and a calling to fulfill.

For a moment visualize your life as two perpendicular lines. The horizontal line is the calling line of life and the vertical line is the consciousness line. You came into this life with unique gifts and talents to share. This is your calling. More often than not it is also your dream and the thing that makes you feel alive and jump out of bed in the morning. The great news is that what you are born to do in this life is how you serve humanity. Pursuing your life's goals moves you along the calling line. However, as you move along this line it is likely that you will bump into challenges. Everyone has to have challenges because they are your teachers. The key, however, is how you deal with the challenges. Accepting circumstances with gratitude, which have been presented to you for your learning, moves you along your calling line with ease and confidence.

By following your calling you also fulfill your purpose. Your purpose is shared amongst humanity. The purpose of all human beings is to evolve in consciousness. Moving up the consciousness line fulfills your purpose.

Think of your calling line as an actual phone line. Every time that line rings and you jump at the opportunity to pick it up you find that it is a wake up call from spirit. Spirit is saying, "Hey, the challenge you are now facing has come to you from God (think of God as "Grand Organizing Design", not as a big hairy man in the sky) to support your conscious evolution."

Here is an example. I had a client who was laid off from a job in December 2007 due to her company being acquired. Prior to the lay-off it became clear that her calling would be taking her in a different direction than her job. At that time she enrolled in graduate school to pursue a completely different career. However, although it was not her passion, she knew that it was not time to leave the job. Then the lay-off happened. When I reminded her to choose a learning relationship with life she began looking inward for clarity about the lay-off. The message she received was that it was spirit's way of putting both of her feet on the path that she was choosing to walk. As a result, she was able to see this lay-off as an affirmation of her new direction. Although this circumstance did present her with challenges it became clear that it served her. She could see that she was moving along her calling line by spirit affirming her new path. In addition, her willingness to answer the call moved her up the consciousness line, which fulfills her purpose.

Living in a society that generally does not nurture authenticity often blocks people from hearing their call. By authenticity I mean being faithful to internal rather than external ideals. This is a disservice to communities and humanity as a whole. In addition, it is a disservice to oneself because when connection to one's true self is sacrificed, critical life lessons are missed. If lessons are missed the challenges that will teach these lessons keep presenting themselves. Personal experience has taught me that the gay community facilitates engagement in self-oppressive endeavors with ease—circuit parties, drugs, youth obsession, body dysmorphia, materialism, bars, sex addiction, and internalized homophobia. My work with gay men has revealed that this elicits a common experience of lack of direction and disconnection from self and others. As a result few are "picking up the phone" and many calls go unanswered.

This is why it becomes critical as adults to consciously practice reconnecting at the authentic level of consciousness. As we do this we tune ourselves to hear the call from spirit and we answer it. There are many ways to engage in this practice. One of them is to participate in a seminar I kick off in early August called The Call. This seminar takes gay men on a journey from inauthenticity to authenticity. When the men step into authenticity they create new visions (or regenerate ones they have already had) for their lives. They are asked to pick one area from their vision and create an action plan. They receive support executing their actions and moving through any challenges along the way. It is through action that visions and dreams become reality and learning life's lessons takes place.

The Call runs from Wednesday, Aug. 6 through Wednesday, Sept. 24. To register, contact Scott at Gay Men's Medicine Circle, 818/400-2432. Location is a private residence in Hollywood. For more information please visit www.gaymensmedicinecircle.org.

Jason Mannino, MA is a Los Angeles-based life coach and career coach. He is available for one-on-one and group sessions. You can contact him for a free coaching consultation through his Web site, www.jmannino.com.