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7 ways to take care of your financial self—now and
for the future
 BY KEN HOWARD, LCSW
Part of my initial assessment as a psychotherapist for gay
men examines their current financial security, goals, fears,
risks, and rewards. Our finances contribute to how we perceive
our external environment, and they affect mood, feelings,
behavior, and relationships. Over 15 years in practice, I
have observed certain “true-isms” about guys
who have it together financially — regardless of their
income bracket. What is the connection between good financial
habits and coping with depression and anxiety? Here are some
time-honored tips:
1) Plan your career: No other factor I’ve seen is
more important to long-term financial security than your
choice of career, and managing that career from the start
of your working life until retirement. It’s important
to choose work that interests you, but the reality is that
some fields just pay better than others. Ask yourself, what
you do better than most people? That is probably what you
will enjoy and make money at. Honing those skills, going
to school, getting training, and finding mentors are critical
elements. Help from a career counselor or therapist can help
you clarify your values, identify your aptitudes, and sharpen
your vocational skills to maximize your lifetime earnings.
2) Keep a budget: To avoid the financial anxiety of being
deeply in debt, you must know how much you earn and how much
you spend, always spending less than you earn. Don’t
use credit cards except for an emergency—if you can’t
afford something, save up until you have enough money to
buy it. Don’t buy it on credit on the hopes that you
will “someday” pay it off—many people never
do. If you always earn more than you spend, raise your self-esteem
by developing emotional intelligence skills such as delayed
gratification, impulse control, and working toward a rewarding
goal.
3) Save for your future: Putting a percentage (usually 2-10%)
of your salary in your employer’s 401K retirement program
can build savings quickly. Ask your Human Resources Department
at work if you have one of these, and get investment advice
from the plan’s advisor if you do. You could also choose
a specific amount each month to put into a bank savings account
(perhaps via direct deposit of your paychecks). Saving for
your future is critical for your retirement years that come
sooner than we think. The interest this money will accrue
over decades in your working life will really add up, and
the sooner you start, the dramatically better off you’ll
be. Even if you’re only 18 or 20 years old, it’s
critical to try to save a standard 10% of your income. Financial
management books as far back as the 1920s suggest that if
you save just 10% of everything you make, you will likely
have a comfortable retirement. You can relax knowing that
your future is secure.
4) Fix money leaks: For one month, make a list of everything
you spend. Look at the big expenditures. Are there wasteful “money
leaks” that you need to fix? Reduce your monthly fixed
costs by finding cheaper ways of getting things, like using
coupons at the supermarket, finding stations with cheaper
gas, or changing phone companies. Cut back on areas that
take more than their fair share of your budget.
5) Be fiscally fit: If you have a bad credit score from
missing or sending late payments to credit cards or utilities,
learn how to fix it. There are books such as The Money Book
for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke by lesbian author Suze
Orman that can help. Keep your financial commitments by “paying
yourself first” each month to your savings, and paying
all of your bills on time and in full every month. By taking
responsibility, you build self-confidence, improve relationships
with others, and feel good in the knowledge that you are
respected and reliable.
6) Build protections: Getting in trouble with the IRS by
not filing your taxes can lead to fines and even jail. Jail
is not like how they’re portrayed in porn; you really
want to avoid them. Protect your assets by carrying insurance—such
as car insurance (liability and collision, to protect you
from being sued and ensure you have a car to drive), renter’s
or homeowner’s insurance (in case of a fire or robbery),
health insurance (in case of a sudden illness or accident),
and disability insurance in case you can’t work your
regular job. Make paying the appropriate insurance premiums
a priority in your budget. Long-time, gay-men’s advisor
Jacques Chambers (www.helpwithbenefits.com) can advise you
on what you need based on your specific life circumstances.
Having insurance against the most common risks for your sex,
age, and profession can help minimize anxiety, provide reassurance,
and restore hope if unfortunate events ever happen to you.
7) Give back to the Universe: Inspirational and motivational
author Jack Canfield, in his classic book, The Success Principles,
suggests that we “tithe” our income—which
is to set aside a certain percentage of your choosing (such
as 5-10%) for giving away to charities or causes you care
about. This creates a wonderful feeling of altruism, and
can give you a sense of pride and raise self-esteem by helping
others who are less fortunate. People who do this often report
amazing stories of great things happening to them, as if
the Universe is taking note of your generosity and taking
care of you in return.
Ken Howard is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice
in West Hollywood, and can be reached at www.gaytherapyla.com or 310/726-4357.
 BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
Name: Scott
Age: 45
Occupation: Owner of Dearly Departed Tours, Hollywood’s
Tragical History Tour and creator of notorious celebrity
death Web site www.findadeath.com
E-mail: orfunnyhaha@yahoo.com
Ideal first date: Food and drink, a murder location, and
possibly a wax museum thrown in just for the sheer terror
of it.
Little-known fact: Because my career is on the dark side
and I am quite vulgar, someone might be surprised to learn
that I attend Episcopal church regularly.
Are you, or is anyone you know, Boyfriend Material? Fill
out the above survey and send a high-resolution image to
lenora.claire@frontierspublishing.com.
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