HU Are You?

A gay clergy member opens up about his faith, the ancient spiritual teaching of Eckankar

BY ALAN PULNER

I am an openly gay member of the Eckankar clergy and I have been practicing this ancient spiritual teaching for about 25 years. I’ve also worked for 20 years as an elementary school teacher in the Los Angeles Unified School District. As a child I was very devout and grew up in a mainstream religion. Even then, I knew in my heart that I would be able to have a direct experience with God—something I could really know and feel. Most people seemed to talk about God as an idea or as a paternal authority. I started reading the Bible and other world scriptures around the age of 13 but they didn’t lead me to what I was looking for, so, like many adolescents, I became cynical and stopped believing.

One day when I was around 24, I had an experience with the Light. It blew me away. Here I was, having stopped believing in the possibility of knowing God, and this amazing light filled my being and spread an enormous joy into my heart. My mind started to argue with my heart, saying, “Hey, you don’t want God anymore, right?” But, my heart won out and set me searching around to find out more about this Light. I looked into different paths and practices. Twice in one week I heard this funny word, “Eckankar.” I was an actor then and a friend was in a play with a member of Eckankar. She had asked him how he managed to have this inner calm before going on stage and he lent her a book on Eckankar. Then my agent mentioned it to me. That was about 25 years ago.

What I love about this ancient teaching is that it helps us discover we are first and foremost Soul, a spark of holiness, of God-stuff. The most important quality, of course, is love: unconditional, uncompromising for ourselves, all life, and God (the Great Void, the Great Mystery, the Un-nameable). As Soul, we are immortal and eternal. We can, and we do (meaning anybody if they put their attention towards it) experience ourselves as Soul, this God-like entity. When we dream, and step out of our lives and see them from a different perspective, when we have a feeling of overwhelming love—all these are Soul Travel experiences.

So, what does it mean, spiritually, to be a gay man in this life? What does it mean to anyone to find themselves in the place and circumstances they are in? For me, it makes sense to see and feel every part of my life as my journey back to God, to the most secret part of myself, the true mystery. Our lives are spiritual experiences. Being gay or lesbian or transsexual or bisexual is a spiritual experience. It is the best vehicle to discover who we really are. So, for me, after practicing the spiritual exercises for all these years, I know and feel myself as Soul learning to give and receive greater love and more freedom through the vehicle of a gay man: in this place, at this time. Everyone can make these discoveries for themselves by searching inward and working with this stuff called Holy Spirit or the Force or the Audible Life Current.

Whatever you call it, it is Light and Sound and they emanate as vibrational currents directly from God. We call it the Eck. You could call it the voice of God. We use daily spiritual exercises or contemplations to connect with the Eck and we let it work with our lives every second. You can get guidance and help on any challenge that comes your way if you just tune in. The most efficient and easiest spiritual exercise I do is called the HU (pronounced like hue or Hugh) song. If you read Coleman Bark’s translations of Rumi, you’ll see this word HU. It has been part of the mystical teachings of many religions and spiritual paths. You relax, close your eyes, and gently focus on your spiritual eye (the spot between your eyebrows) and chant HU in one long breath on any pitch that’s comfortable for you. This is the best first-step to contact the Light and Sound and find out what your own life means from Soul’s perspective.

The Eckankar Center is located at 6669 Sunset Blvd. Call 323/469-2325 or visit www.eck-ca.org.