Tony Zimbardi—Le Mons

Forever Family

“Honey, you know the adoption finalization is in two days and we’ve not mentioned it once in the last week?” Antonio points out as we’re lying in bed, the kids freshly abed. Like most parents, this is our first chance to have a few words, a little pillow talk before we conk out, ourselves. “I know sweetie,” I answer. “I think that the last year has been so full of stops and starts that at this point, I don’t want to jinx it. I’m sort of just holding my breath until it happens.” “I hear you,” he says, taking my hand in his. And with that we peck each other on the lips, roll over, to turn out our prospective nightstand lamps and fall fast asleep.

We arrive at the courthouse and meet our lawyer in person for the first time. All of our interactions have been via phone, e-mail, and snail mail. He informs us of the protocol and says, “I’m going in. I’ll call your names in a few minutes and you’ll enter the courtroom together.” Both the boy’s adoption social worker as well as foster social worker show up. It’s not part of their job, but they want to support us. “How many of these have you been through?” I ask Sandra. “This is the first at this job, I’ve been with DCFS for two years now.” “We’re the first final adoption? Wow!” I respond. “How many families do you have on your caseload?” I ask. “Well,” she responds hesitantly, “I’m only supposed to have 15 families on my caseload, but I typically have 38. “Thirty eight?” I ask. And with that, we hear “Zimbardi-Le Mons,” and know its time to enter the courtroom.

“Mr. Zimbardi, Mr. Le Mons, please raise your right hands,” the judge asks. Jaime, not understanding all that is going on, stands up and raises his right hand as well. Upon seeing this, the stoic county clerk breaks her fourth-wall of stony silence displaying a huge grin. “Do you solemnly swear to raise these children as if they were your very own and will provide for and love them as such?” “I do,” we each respond. “Along with all the rights and responsibilities of this court and the state of California, I now introduce the Zimbardi-Le Mons family,” the judge announces. The tiny courtroom filled with many clerks, attorneys, and social workers breaks into applause. I feel a large lump rise in my throat and hold back tears. We go up and take a picture with the judge then exit the courtroom. It’s exactly one year to the day that we all met on a dreary February afternoon in a DCFS office on Wilshire Boulevard.

Today the four of us joined hands and walked through the doors of the Monterey Park Family Courthouse as two gay men and two little boys with a shared dream. And a half hour later, we walked out a family—a forever family.

In the next installment: The “Family honeymoon.”

Tony Zimbardi Psy.D. is a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood. More of his writing can be found at www.drtonyzimbardi.com.