Sorrel River Ranch in Utah, Alisal Ranch in California, and the Lazy El Ranch in Montana offer some dusty (and luxurious) good times

The Majestic Wild West at Sorrel River Ranch

Moab, UT is a destination with the kind of wild, rough-hewn beauty that is preserved by its relative inaccessibility. There are no direct flights even to Grand Junction, CO, one hour away, and adventurous, road-trippy Angelenos might be tempted to take the 12-plus hour drive across several states. Whatever your route in, know that the reward is greater than you could’ve anticipated once your city-weary eyes take in the crown jewel of Moab—Castle Valley—wherein the Sorrel River Ranch is gently situated.

One of the world’s most dramatic geographic wonders, Highway 28, also known as the River Corridor, is the backdrop for your cowboy vacation. Ancient oceans carved a valley from the burnished red rock, where the icy green Colorado River now flows, deep and slow. Sorrel River Ranch, founded in 1994 by former Angeleno, rock star, and successful clothing entrepreneur Robbie Levin, was named for the color of a sorrel Quarter Horse—this is a working ranch, and the horses are well-tended and seemingly in their most natural setting. Also a luxury hotel with its own fine-dining restaurant (helmed by Levin’s son, Max), Sorrel River Ranch provides all the amenities—high speed Internet, pool and Jacuzzi, full-service spa, gym, and luxurious rooms—that assist in your gradual unwinding from the harshness of city life. The experience makes one appreciate the simplicity of just breathing and taking in the surroundings, all barriers between you and the natural world removed.

In addition to all the riding, ranching, and relaxation to be had at Sorrel River, Moab is a town that is no stranger to outdoor adventure. Known for its superior mountainbiking, with trails suitable for the amateur all the way to the seasoned pro, Moab also boasts some of the most spectacular national parks in the country. Cruise into nearby Arches National Park and take the relatively easy trek to the wondrous Delicate Arch. For the fit and adventurous, the Double O arch loop along the Primitive Trail is a fine challenge, and will reward you with some incredible views. During the spring and summer, river rafting is also available, and the friendly staff at the ranch can arrange all your adventures for you.

Though Moab is a liberal town by Utah standards, there is no gay nightlife to be found so don’t bother. You will probably spend most of your time at the ranch, dining on fresh game and fish at the River Grill, indulging in their excellent wine list, and enjoying the company of fellow guests and your illustrious hosts, the Levins. The ranch attracts a largely European clientele, as well as a significant number of Angelenos, and plenty of gay guests as well (mostly couples and groups). Though you are certainly in the middle of a delicious nowhere, there is an air of worldliness and city liberalism at Sorrel River Ranch that we much appreciate.

So git on down for a visit! For more information and to book a visit, see www.sorrelriverranch.com.

Lakeside Luxury at Alisal Ranch

Tucked in the Santa Ynez Valley, adjacent to Solvang, is Alisal Guest Ranch and Resort — a sprawling 10,000 acre, family-owned cattle ranch, with 73 guest cottages — decorated in classic California ranch design. For those hankering for a cowboy or cowgirl adventure, this is an idyllic setting.

Upon our arrival, a bellman escorted us to our suite, and surprised us by refusing a tip, quickly saying, “No tipping at the ranch, but thank you.” At Alisal Ranch, breakfast, dinner, and most everything else, is included with the room rate, and since there is no tipping, guests can wander unencumbered by credit cards, bags, and receipts. The accommodations were extremely comfortable, with our swanky, Western-style suite boasting a living area with a fireplace, a kitchenette, large bedroom, and two baths. Here are two things you won’t find in a suite at Alisal Ranch: a television or a phone. The bellman explained that there was a nearby lounge with both, but none in the rooms. I let out a sigh of relief.

For those wishing for outdoor adventures, Alisal has stables with more than 100 horses for riding. It has a huge spring-fed lake, with sailing, kayaking, and fishing, as well as two golf courses, a pool, and miles of trails. I was especially excited to take a languorous horseback ride under the oaks and sycamores near the lake.

As we rode along, picking up an occasional trot, our guide pointed out eagles nesting, deer, and other wildlife. Since it had been years since I had ridden a horse it made me feel a youthful exuberance. The ride gave us a sense of the vastness of the property, which, we learned, had been a ranch since the mid-1800s, and much later, in 1946, opened its doors to guests.

All the horsing around and fresh mountain air can really give you an appetite, and the food at Alisal does not disappoint. Dinner is fairly formal, with men requiring a dinner jacket. The evening meal was a choice of about 10 entrees including various cuts of steak, chicken, or ribs, grilled over Alisal oak. Executive Chef Pascal Godé changes the menu daily with selections he calls “California Cuisine with a Western flair.” I started with a lovely salad featuring jicama and beets, then ventured onto a steak, which turned out to be generously portioned, and prepared and seasoned perfectly. A scrumptious berry crumble with homemade cinnamon ice cream topped it off. There’s an adjacent bar called the Oak Room, where it’s fun to have an after-dinner drink, or listen to a bit of music.

We couldn’t wait to get back to our room to build a fire. It was so romantic to watch the fire while listening to the crickets, frogs, and birds outside. The bathtub was big enough for two, so we lit some candles that were conveniently provided, and slid our way into a bubbly hot bath, with a glass of wine. As you can imagine, I was wishing for just a couple more days at the ranch when it was check-out time. —ASSIA MORTENSEN

The Alisal Guest Ranch and Resort can be reached at 888-4ALISAL or visit www.alisal.com.

Montana Cattle Round-up at the Lazy El Ranch with OutWest Adventures

One hot August afternoon 10 widely divergent guests converged at the Billings, Montana. Airport. Aaron Kampfe, owner of OutWest Adventures, scooped us up at the airport, and whizzed us off to the Lazy El Ranch. We all clicked instantly, as though we had been lifelong buds.

Our first impression of the 15,000 acre Lazy El, which Aaron’s family has owned for over 100 years, is that it was like walking into an episode of Bonanza. Here, the Big Sky Country lives up to its name. You’ll stay either in the comfortably rustic log lodge built in 1919 or in a log cabin. Ask for the Granny Kay room. The bathroom has a ’20s tub and a wood-burning fireplace! The view from the porch outside is awe-inspiring. Just before sunset, framed by 12,000 foot snow-capped peaks, the horses come home from pasture. Their slow, single-file parade is nothing short of majestic in the golden light.

The week is really about you getting in touch with your own spirit. Don’t expect to find True Love during the week. Probably not even False Lust. If your fantasy is to ride into the sunset with Jake Gyllenhall, bring him with you—it’s the only way that’s going to happen.

The physical activities for the week are based on the capabilities and desires of the group, and the whims of Mama Nature. On the first day the expert guides matched us with the right horse. I asked for a horse that would stand still for a few moments to allow picture taking. The horse did stand still … moving was a matter in which he expressed no interest. I called him Cement. (His name, ironically, was Lightening.)

The days have a wide arc of activity—easy or strenuous hikes, river rafting, and lollygagging. One day was a tour of Beartooth Highway—from its West Summit you have a 360-degree view of glaciers, spectacular granite outcroppings, and icy aqua lakes. Another was investigating our national treasures—Jackson Hole and Yellowstone National Park.

Then came The Big Day, the cattle round up. We became part of a team of 28 cowboys and cowgirls whose purpose was to move 2,000 head of cattle from one 5-acre pasture to a virgin one for fresh grazing. The cattle boss, the “point man,” spearheaded the “lead cattle” in the direction necessary. The experienced hands work the “flanks,” the left and right boundaries of the herd to see that the hundreds of tons of moving, snorting flesh don’t wander. The guests are assigned to “drag”—the end position—and the job is to try to maneuver those highly resistant cattle in the same direction as the point man.

We surged through forests, scratchy underbrush with thousands of cattle pressing in on all sides of us, through rivers, up steep embankments, and then, finally—and suddenly—it was over. A huge lunch was brought in by truck, which was eaten in exhausted silence on the porch of a shepherds’ cabin. Worth it? Yes.

When you go home and your friend asks you what you did that week you can say “Oh, not much. I just helped drive 2,000 head of cattle through forests, rivers, and to a mountainside.” When was the last time you could say that? —JERED BARCLAY

For details and to book your own gay cowboy adventure, visit OutWest Global Adventures’ website at www.outwestglobaladventures.com.