Head South and West for Australia’s best-kept secrets—the cities of Perth and Adelaide

BY LAWRENCE FERBER

With its iconic opera house, beaches, and thumping queer scene, not to mention a stage musical version of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Sydney is Australia’s number one gay vacation destination. Yet the sunny metropolis goes down better with a side order of smaller town Oz—and that’s usually Melbourne. Instead, I advise you to go West, or South, to the lesser-known cities of Perth and Adelaide for truly outstanding food, the country’s best wineries, lovely scenery, and marsupial encounters. And at much lower prices to boot.

South Australia’s capital of Adelaide is approximately two hours by air from Sydney. The city itself is compact and easy to get around, with most of the shopping and people watching concentrated along the Rundle Street strip. You can trolley off to the nearby seaside resort Glenelg (and make friends/flirt with the queer staff at lovely gay-owned Zest Café), drive through a bevy of wine regions, or take a tiny flight South to the isolated de facto wildlife reserve, Kangaroo Island (www.tourkangarooisland.com.au).

But don’t rush—settle down first and eat. This is a foodie’s region, thanks to the wealth of locally farmed products, from game meats like venison to cheeses to quintessentially Outback ingredients like the nutty/coffee-like Wattleseed. Sample these local specialties at the famed Central Market. Affable Mark Gleeson of the Market’s Providore stall offers a tour that includes tasting of SA cheeses, exclusively Adelaide confections like the mousse-loaded Lamington cake, and olive oils. South Australia is quite renowned for its fruity olive oils, such as those by the Una, Augusto, and Diana brands. Further indulge in Aussie produce and game (Emu! Kangaroo!) at swanky restaurant The Red Ochre (www.redochre.com.au), which overlooks the River Torrens.

S.A.’s significant Asian population has built a wide variety of Asian restaurants along Chinatown’s Gouger Street. Voted Adelaide’s Best Korean Restaurant, Mapo (8211 6042; www.mapo.com.au) offers traditional Korean barbecue as well as fusion-y creations like Coffee Port Spare Ribs. Gays love Star of Siam (8231 3527) for its clean, fresh Thai. Trendy molecular cuisine has hit via Manse (8267 4636; www.themanserestaurant.com.au). Locals speak highly of Italian/Pizza venues Amalfi Pizzeria (8223 1948) and Scuzzi (8239 2233). And chocoholics should make a beeline for the way cozy, everything’s-got-cocoa café, Chocolate Bean (8359 3399)—I dare you to polish off the Chocolate Filth, an evil conglomeration of chocolate cake and shot glasses brimming with cream, mousse, and ganache.

One of the country’s largest queer cultural events, Adelaide’s Feast Festival (www.feast.org.au) covers all the bases with a virtual, and impressive, cornucopia of arts and social activities held over two weeks in November. While plenty of gays live in S.A., Adelaide’s nightlife scene is small, relatively incestuous, and in a state of flux, with bars both opening and closing: you can reserve your pink party energy for Sydney. Regardless, local gay magazine BLAZE (www.blazemedia.com.au) includes an up-to-date Venue Guide: you can download it online in pdf format.

The oldest dance club in Adelaide, Mars Bar (www.themarsbar.com.au) is also the largest and busiest. Open Wednesday-Sunday, its Friday and Saturday nights are jam-packed with South Aussies eager to let loose (and drink — these folks can keep up with the Irish and Scandinavians, and yes, they do get messy!). Come late night, the crowd is treated to choreographed drag bonanzas. You might even spot local drag personalities Summer Clearance, Malt Biscuit and Tequila Slamma in the mix (see Mars’ website for photos!).

Other pubs/parties worth noting are the Hampton Hotel, aka “The Hampy” (8231 5169), the thrice-weekly Directors Uncut@Directors Hotel (8231 8484), the Bear Men of Adelaide party at Flagstaff on Franklin Hotel (0404 413 260) every first and third Friday, and, for lesbians, the Thebarton suburb’s Wheatsheaf Hotel (8443 4546), a typically mixed venue with an impressive beer/wine/spirits selection.

The diverse climates found within S.A. allow a bevy of grapes/vines to flourish, including Chardonnay, Shiraz, Grenache, Riesling, and—making its comeback after surviving near decimation in France—Viognier. Check out the government’s dedicated site (www.wineaustralia.com) for a rundown of S.A.’s wine regions, vineyards, and award-winning high-profile bottles including the conversation-stirring (at least for wine aficionados) Sparkling Shiraz.

Life is a Cabernet (www.lifeisacabernet.com.au) can take you on a dreamy cellar door-to-door guided tour, or rent a car and explore solo, of regions like Clare Valley, the Southern Florieu, Barossa, McLaren Vale, and Adelaide Hills. An endless array of gourmet shops and restaurants such as the Maggie Beer Farm Shop (www.maggiebeer.com.au) anchor these regions, while some of the wineries notably the gay-owned Hahndorf Hills Winery (8388 7512. www.hahndorfhillwinery.com.au) boast in-house dining. Peppers The Louise (8562 2722 www.thelouise.com.au) entails an all-in-one, uber-romantic indulgence: a superb boutique resort with modern, gorgeously designed rooms (the bathroom floors are heated!) vineyard views, every frill included (DVD library, cookies, open minibar/cappuccino machine, high speed Internet), and a jaw-droppingly fabulous restaurant (with food by a French trained Mod-Oz chef), Appellation. Staying here guarantees you a reservation.

Famously the world’s most isolated capital city, Western Australia’s Perth is nonetheless a green, beautiful, and relaxing gem. More spread out than Adelaide (a rental car is well-advised), it nonetheless bears many similarities —a perpetually brisk main shopping strip (Hay Street/Murray Street Mall), outstanding locally sourced cuisine/wines, a casino complex, a handful of queer bars/clubs (notably Connections and Skandalous—see www.outinperth.com for listings) and tight-knit LGBT community, a river, and plenty of nearby attractions. There’s also a huge music scene—jangly pop doesn’t get much better than that by local heroes, The Bank Holidays.

After taking in city sights like the Swan Bells Tower, which appears to be a younger cousin of the iconic Sydney Opera House, take a stroll through the many parks/paths along the Swan River—and keep an eye out for the rare black swan! Sporty queers might want to play the eight courts of the 15-year-old gay tennis club, the Loton Park Tennis Club. When it’s time to eat, visit the Highgate neighborhood: many of the city’s best restaurants line its Beaufort Street, including Must Winebar (9328 8255 www.must.com) and Veritas (9227 9745 www.veritasbistro.com).

A day or two can be spent exploring beaches along the Indian Ocean’s coast, just 20 minutes from Perth, including Floreat Beach and Swanbourne, both of which boast gay (and nudist) sections. Heading south along the coastline —and likely spotting whales offshore while doing so—the rustic port town of Fremantle is worth a day’s exploration, but do reserve a couple of nights (and a three-to-four hour drive) for Australia’s own Napa Valley, Margaret River, a prime surfing spot and wine-lover’s Mecca (over 20% of the country’s premium wine is produced here) where hedonism runs rampant—albeit at a mellow pace. Check out www.margaret-riveronline.com.au for a thorough rundown on all the wineries (Vasse Felix is a must!) and gourmet food producers, restaurants, and lodgings. I stayed at the Peppers-esque Cape Lodge (www.capelodge.com.au), and between the jacuzzi, excellent restaurant (open only to guests), and leering at hot surfers—not to mention near run-ins with kangaroo on the leafy roads—realized that isolation makes a pretty fine side order.

For more information, check out The South Australian Tourism Commission at www.southaustralia.com and Tourism Western Australia at www.westernaustralia.com.